Stronger Yet Stressed: What New Research Says About Families Raising Autistic Children

A family can be good at adapting and still be completely exhausted. That is what stood out to me in a new University of Kentucky study about families raising autistic children. Researchers found that these families reported higher stress than families without an autistic child. When they compared families experiencing similar levels of stress, the families raising autistic children also reported higher levels of resilience, including communication, problem-solving, inner strength, and hope.

For many parents (myself included), those findings will feel familiar. You learn to think three steps ahead. You know which places may be overwhelming, what times of the day are the most difficult, what needs to go in the bag before leaving home, and how quickly a plan may need to change. You learn to advocate in school meetings, make calls, ask questions, and keep trying when something that should be simple becomes complicated. That takes skill, but it also takes energy.

What the study found (and what it didn’t)

The researchers analyzed data from the 2022 and 2023 National Survey of Children’s Health, drawing on responses representing more than 100,000 U.S. families. Their analysis accounted for factors including demographics, income, and social support. It found higher reported stress among families raising autistic children, alongside higher reported resilience when stress was taken into account.

The study offers a useful picture of families’ reported experiences, but it cannot tell us that stress caused their resilience. It also cannot tell us what every autistic child or every family needs. Families differ, and a parent who feels resourceful today may still need help tomorrow.

The researchers themselves cautioned against treating stress as something beneficial or assuming resilient families need less support.

The work people don’t always see

A parent may arrive at school on time with a calm child and everything packed for the day. What others may not see is the earlier wake-up, the adjusted breakfast, the change in clothing because a seam felt unbearable, or the time spent helping that child recover from an unexpected noise. A family may seem organized because they have learned they have to be organized. Their routines and backup plans are real strengths. They are also evidence of how much work daily life can require.

As a parent and as someone who works with children and families, I think we need room to say both things honestly: families develop remarkable skills, and many are carrying too much.

We also need to be careful about where we place the source of that stress. An autistic child is a whole person, with relationships, preferences, humor, abilities, and needs. Some of the pressure families experience comes from trying to secure appropriate care, navigate insurance, find childcare, manage medications, or get others to understand and accommodate their child.

What support should look like

Telling a parent, “You’re so strong,” can be kind, but it becomes much less helpful when that is where the conversation ends. Systems and providers can ask what would make this week easier. They can listen when a family explains what works at home, communicate clearly, make room for sensory and communication needs, and coordinate when they can so parents are not left managing every piece alone. Communities can help by making activities more accessible and by offering practical support, including neuroaffirming professional development, childcare, and respite. These are among the kinds of supports the researchers say families need.

Resilience should be recognized, but it should never become a reason to leave families to manage without help. If you are raising an autistic child and you are tired, that does not erase your strength. If you need support, that does not mean you are failing. You and your child deserve a community willing to do more than admire how much you can carry and just how "strong" you are.

Research: Duncan, A. L., & Shepley, C. (2026). Stronger Yet Stretched: Resilience and Stress in U.S. Families Raising Autistic Children, Autism.